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Just what should we be eating?

Imagine making a sandwich without bread. No more hamburgers, hot dogs, pizza or any other food that requires the use of one of its main ingredients. Mealtime would take on a whole new twist.

According to the health experts, wheat products are no longer healthy for use to consume. Mankind has been breaking bread ever since we figured out how to take the raw grain, grind it down, mix with other things and viola, we created dough! Somewhere along the line we figured out that we had to cook it so we invented fire. Maybe fire came first, kind of a chicken or the egg question. Whatever the case man had invented a food that would serve him well at least until the health experts determined that it wasn’t good for us. I guess sliced bread isn’t such a good invention after all.

So what if they are right? They say that red meat will kill us and deep fried foods plug up our arteries until our hearts conk out. Cooked vegies aren’t nearly as good for us as raw ones. Eat healthy and live longer is the motto preached by dietician all over the planet. But do most of us listen? Maybe just to appease them but the minute you are presented with a meal time decision, the burger and fries seems mighty tempting. Your cravings win again!

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So what would we do without bread or all the other wheat based products we consume on a daily basis?

Let’s start with breakfast. No more toast! No morning beagle or donut with your coffee. Oh, did I mention coffee is bad for us too! Bacon and eggs just wouldn’t be the same without a side of toast. Crap, bacon and eggs are bad for us anyway. Maybe I’ll just have a bowl of cereal. Aren’t they made from wheat too! Some are made from other grains that haven’t been condemned by the experts, at least not yet. Guess I’ll grab a piece of fruit to start my day. Better wash off all the chemicals that might be on it first. Don’t want to poison myself.

Lunchtime! Let’s order out. I’ll have a ham and cheese on whole wheat. On second thought I’ll just have the ham and cheese. Nope, too much cheese can kill you and ham is full of pig fat right. Maybe pizza is okay. Isn’t the crust made from grain? Just cook the toppings and put them in a bowl. Oops! There’s the nasty cheese again and that pepperoni is lethal. Pasta might be okay but don’t they use wheat flour to make it? On to the salad bar for more produce that has been shipped from wherever and treated with preservative to stay “fresh.” I sure hope they wash this stuff.

What’s for supper mom? If you take away all the foods that are bad for us, the supper table would look rather empty. Preparing a healthy meal could prove to be difficult for a busy mom or dad. No more heat and serve foods with any breading on it. Better cook that chicken thoroughly to kill all the bacteria. Kids like things that are tasty and so do adults. Raw veggies are good for us but I couldn’t live on them. Don’t know how vegetarians can do it but somehow they manage. Wonder what the life expectancy of a vegetarian is? Probably longer than me but then again you are what you eat. How’s it going Mr. Potato head? My names Mr. Lard butt. Oh that’s right. Its little Johnny’s birthday and I have to bake a cake. Better not. I don’t want to poison my son with the deadly wheat plant. Get out the candles and glue them to the table. Happy birthday Johnny, have fresh apple from an orchard on the other side of the country. No ice cream either, full of fat and it will rot your teeth! Make sure you brush after every meal. Hm. Maybe they’ll find out that toothpaste is killing us too!

So here I sit my jar of peanut butter and a spoon. Maybe I could put some in a bowl and mix it with some jam? Might taste okay but it just wouldn’t be the same as a pb & j sandwich. Oh well, if I want to live longer I better get with the program soon before they discover more foods that are killing us. No more “loafing” around.


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