What do scientists really know?
I watch a lot of science shows that talk about the history of the planet. What happened to the dinosaurs, major floods, earthquakes, volcanoes and how the world will end. Opinions vary but the one thing these scientist all say is “we know this or we know that.” Really? Ya I get it when they explain some of the science they used to figure things out. “By learning from the past we can see into our future” seems to be a common thing they all say. That’s fine but what’s the point? After listening to these people go on and on spreading doom and gloom I don’t go into a panic mode shouting “the sky is falling-the sky is falling” like a weirdo! Enough weirdo’s out there already predicting the end of the world.
So what do they really know? I suspect they know as long as they keep us in a state of panic about the future of the planet they will keep their jobs. Who pays the salaries for these guys anyway? Some government grant? If so, I along with all the other tax payers out there are funding these guys to freak everyone out. I don’t even trust the local weather guy let alone someone who makes a living predicting the end of the world. I guess if an asteroid hits my house someday I’ll have to admit they were right all along. I’ll be dead and maybe they will be too. Maybe if I would have listened to them, sat on my deck watching the sky all day, I would have been able to run away before it hit! Or I could bury myself in the ground like some nutbar survivalist ready to repopulate the planet after the “big one.” One family to kick start the population again. Hmm! Ever hear of incest? They could change the planets name to “I did my mom and my sister too” Porn will live on!
Having a somewhat twisted sense of humour when watching these shows provides me with my own comic relief. Ever see the movie 2012? The character Woody Harrelson plays tares me up, standing on a hill after the big blast only to be vaporized into nothing suckin on a pickle. Priceless stuff for me. Picture this. The big rock from the sky is coming and will hit us in one hour. All the scientist run to their computers still trying to save the planet or yell out “I told you so!” Newscasters around the globe go into overdrive. We interrupt this program for a special bulletin. “Kiss your ass goodbye cause were all gonna die.” “And on our six o’clock report we’ll show the aftermath of the global catastrophe.” Then a commercial for Viagra comes on. Well if I knew I had less than one hour to live, a good dose of that stuff and some private time with my wife would be the way I would want to cash in my chips. With any luck I’d screw myself to death before the rock hits!
We have to save the planet!!! From what? From us as far as I can see. Scientific predictions about global warming among other things and what we can do about it makes me laugh. Alternative fuels and renewable resources aren’t gonna save the planet. We’re just a flyspeck in time and our own worst enemy as far as the planet is concerned. One more global catastrophe and were all toast including all the scientist who say we can fix this mess that we created. Wait a minute here. Isn’t science to blame for inventing and developing all the crap they say may lead to our demise? I think there to blame more than anyone so let’s get em! Save the planet the trouble and wipe these so called experts out while we still have a chance! What do we stand to lose? No more new technology? I’d keep the ones who dedicate their lives to medical advancements, but the rest, SCREW EM! Just as soon have stayed in the Stone Age and been devoured by some wild pack of dogs knowing that science won’t save my sorry butt. And how much more technology do we need? Make me the transporter from Star Trek so I can beam the hell out here would work. How about this Mr. Scientist. Stop telling me “we know this and we know that” and concentrate on things that really matter. The dinosaurs have been dead for a very long time, don’t know how, don’t know when and don’t really care. Kinda glad they are gone. Bad enough we have to worry about being blown up someday by a nuke that science invented or possibly eaten by a hungry raptor. We’d probably nuke the dinos off the face of the planet and blow ourselves up at the same time! The planet will carry on without scientist and morph into whatever it wants to.
So keep doing all these studies about the history of the planet Mr. Scientist. Go dig another hole somewhere to show us where we came from. I’ll keep watching the boob tube tuning into your doom and gloom shows as long as I can watch Trailer Park Boys once in a while. Now that’s educational TV folks. And by the way Mr. Scientist, if you feel dirt hitting you in the back when you’re crawling around that hole someday, look up. No, it’s not the big earthquake you predicted. It’s me filling in the hole patching up the planet. One doom and gloom scientist down, many more to go!