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Best Moments From The Justin Bieber Roast

Well, the day many people were waiting for finally came, the roast of Justin Bieber aired on March 30th. If you missed it, that’s ok, we pulled 14 of the best jokes from the roast. 

  1. “I’m here to give Justin Bieber some tips for when he inevitably ends up in prison … Change up those tattoos. You have an owl on your arm and the word patience on your neck. I would suggest the words white power, full back, so you don’t look like some 14-year-old girl’s Trapper Keeper.” -Martha Stewart
  1. “Justin Bieber, the man. Why are you here? … You are about to get f**ked harder than Orlando Bloom fucked Selena Gomez.” -Chris D’Elia
  1. “You gotta give it up for Justin. He started from the bottom and he’s still a bottom.” -Hannibal Buress
  1. “Justin’s life changed when Usher heard one of his songs and liked it, which only goes to prove that Usher ain’t black.” -Snoop Dogg
  1. “… You haven’t put out an album in three years. What are you doing? If you listen closely you can hear the sounds of One Direction f**king your fans.” -Jeffrey Ross 

  1. “Selena Gomez wanted to be here but she’s dating men now. Is it true you dumped her because she grew a mustache before you?” -Jeffrey Ross
  1. “You’re like our beetles. Not the band, the bugs that live in shit.” -Natasha Leggero
  1. “You acted so much like a pussy on the show that Ellen tried to eat you.” -Ludacris
  1. “”Look, I’m new to comedy, but here’s a joke: What do you get when you given a teenager $200 million dollars? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.” -Justin Bieber
  1. “Martha, thanks for coming. I know that’s something you probably don’t do much of anymore.” -Justin Bieber

  1. “Justin, as a father of six you have to straighten up, son. Last year, you were ranked the fifth most hated person of all time. Kim Jong-Un didn’t rank that low. And he uses your music to torture people.”– Shaq
  1. “This kid has spunk, moxie, and a few other STDs.”– Ron Burgandy – Will Ferrell
  1. “When you get to the county jail, hear me, you’re gonna be the first dude who ever had a girlfriend and a boyfriend named Gomez.” –Snoop Dogg
  1. “I love Kevin Hart’s career plan: Do everything Martin Lawrence did, only sh—ier” –Justin Bieber,

 

We see that Justin was a little scared…..

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